Fetlife is good but bear in mind that you should always be cautious online - there are a lot of predators out there. Best thing to do when meeting people is to meet them in a neutral space with other people present, such as a cafe, a few times before going anywhere with them. And remember, anyone who ignores your limits or won't negotiate is not someone you want to play with. It's not the interesting side of things but is vital to your wellbeing and safety.