I really don't understand what is so wrong with me. I made a friend and all of a sudden, and I don't know why, she stops talking to me. I help people when they are in need. Then, they only get in touch when they need something. Even my family does the same thing.

Things got a lot worse when I became disabled, 9 years ago and being diagnosed with C-PTSD at a different time. Being a veteran has even brought it's own challenges. I get called broken, useless, ugly, crazy, you name it. I wear a veteran hat and I've been spit on more than once, called a murder, and even had a woman call me a "paid killer".

I know I'm not anyone special, and certainly not perfect. I just wish I understood what is so horrible about me that causes people to treat me this way. I've been alone for 10 years now. Being alone is fine, but the loneliness really sucks. I'm at my wits end trying to see why people treat me so poorly, and it's been for most of my life as well.