(((((Kerry))) At the time I had to do what I had to do. It was all surreal and things, motions were done as though automatic. I remember pieces. Some things, Dave or my parents or someone else reminded me off. I just remember being numb, scared schitless and angry, very very angry.

I apologize for the tears i've put in your eyes. And your welcome for helping to put it in perspective for you. I wish i could write more. More that followed. Maybe later i can do that. Right now, I'm still wanting to keep it buried. There were a few things i kept out, embarrasing. And, that really sucks, becuase i've never been one to embarrass easily.

I can just remember so much of asking for help and not getting it. I think thats why i've got such a tough skin now.

I would love for someone to hold me and let me get it out. But, i dont know how. I'm scared to let it go.

love ya kerry