((((((Sabby)))))))) thank you for doing that too. I wish that i could let go more of myself and receive the support and love this place is full of. I'll get there though. I think its baby steps for me.

I'm being told by my counsler that i've hit the grieving step, level, what ever it is. She said if i have to break things, then do it. She said go break one of the boats still not claimed sitting on someones front lawn. The same with automobiles. Pick up chunks of cement and bat them to the sky.

There is actually one thing i've been wanting to do, but keep myself from doing it. The roads here in the neighborhoods have gotten so bad becaue of the huge trucks constnatly coming and going. There are potholes your car could fit in. I will take a bike ride every few days. and each time i do, there is this one hole, that is just right to hit. I would so easily flip over the handle bars with the bike flown in the air after me. But, i always go around it. I dont like that feeling. I feel like if i could hurt mysefl physically, mentally i will feel better. Makes no sense, i know. But it just is.

Im so sorry to make you cry too. I didnt mean for anyone to cry. I'll have to think of a funny thing that happened and post it.

((((Sabby)))))) love ya