I cried in session today. Throughout at least half of it.
We talked about S.
I don't particularly want to go into a ton of details, but, in the end, after lots of working for it, I did feel connected with C. Albeit scared the connection would/will be taken away.
And angry at S.
Angry that he encouraged so much dependency.
Angry that he knew just where my most vulnerable spot was and hooked on to that.
Angry that he made promises to the most vulnerable child part of me and then stomped all over those promises and broke every one.
But, also...heartbroken. So so heartbroken.
And scared that I will never ever stop hurting over it.