My thought reading this thread LT is how hard you have work to teach this man something about attachment. Not all T's work on attachment and that's fine, but it sounds like this is a really important thing for you (as it is for me). He doesn't sound harmful or abusive but sort of lacking in skill in an area that is of key interest and importance to you.

I have 3 questions when I read this:

1) does he have amazing compensatory skills in other key areas that are really important and helpful to you?

2) is it worth your time and money to train your therapist to develop what some would consider to be basic therapy skills so that he can work with you on what clearly sounds like your main issue?

3) what is the risk of harm to you in working on such a deep issue with a therapist who is so far outside his comfort zone?

On the other hand...

As I have mentioned in other places, attachment is my hardest, most intense issue. I need a therapist who is rock solid in this area. But it sounds like you are A LOT more able to chitchat about your attachment needs and challenge your T and tell him if you feel shamed than I can. So maybe this opportunity to articulate and advocate for your needs with a willing and interested person is in itself therapeutic for you.

Maybe it's a corrective emotional experience with a person who is skilled enough to be safe but genuinely uninformed enough that you need to spell things out, and it is the spelling out that is corrective?

If that is true, then I think you DON'T actually need any help explaining this to him. I think you are doing a fantastic job and whether he ends up getting you is secondary. In my opinion, as satisfying and warm a feeling as it is to be understood, one's therapy cannot be about the pursuit of the therapist's aha! moment. Maybe your therapy is about understanding and practicing articulating your attachment needs so that you can ultimately do that in your non-therapy relationships. Yes?