I feel like this most of the time too. At the moment I am focusing on being on a diet . I haven't seen any results yet . If it doesn't work i will go right back to giving up on life and not wanting to be here .
You couldn't make it to the Buddhist centre today , but you had a plan and an idea to go . You can go there another day . Maybe because you didn't go there you could try to achieve one small goal today to make yourself better . It could be To do with housework or self care or a hobbie like reading or drawing , anything that you might enjoy .
Apart from going to the Buddhist centre , what other things can you also plan to do in the future that might improve your quality of life ? Maybe you could make a little action plan of goals to achieve , short term or long term .

Today I've been looking on the internet at things I want to buy myself to make myself feel good . To treat myself . I've also been looking on the internet at clothes I want to buy when I lose weight . I'm hoping that doing this will keep me motivated .

The depression is here with me . I don't like it one bit . But focusing on weight loss and how better my life might be is giving me a little bit of hope for the depression . I could be wrong . I have been skinny and depressed . Losing weight might not help me . But I want to good that it will . That my confidence will improve .

Anyway sorry for such a long post .