I experience my illness as one of profound alienation. Most of the time I am depressed or very low energy. I don't have the energy to go out and socialize. I barely have the energy to go out and get a massage to forestall all the shoulder pain I was having from returning. Then I have some bouts of mania and end up throwing money away, and hospitalized. I don't experience just ordinary days where my mood is ordinary. So yeah I would take a life without my illness any day, gladly and without hesitation. I mean who wants all this suffering?