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Originally Posted by key tones
Bluebicycle- that is so heartbreaking about your cousin, I am so sorry 
Laurie - does the paranoia come and go?
I can get a case of it while hypomanic. It’s not constant in hypomania—I’ll have some trigger, it could be reading about burglaries on the neighborhood fb page, and off I’ll go doing something to prevent it. I put fake burglar alarms in the cars, even though they both have real ones 
I bought big men’s shoes and put all sorts of large dog clues out (big dog chain and stake out front and back, used large dog toys from thrift shop), and riding baby toys around the yard to make it look like people are home during the day.
The PTSD symptoms are hard to cope with  I was abused, neglected, and terrorized when I was a child. I have a hard time with mean authority figures when I’m in powerless situations. I get overwhelmed, anxious, and sometimes dissociate or flee the scene when it’s not appropriate. I’m working on it in therapy.
Oh, I’m paranoid about the mental health support groups with the strangers, too. One man left group five minutes early to stake me out by my car, which freaked me out so I went to a different location and a man there asked me where I worked repeatedly (what street/what intersection) until the leader asked him to stop. I’m just done, I can’t stand strange men, I’m scared.
So, anyway is your paranoia episodic, situational, or truly constant? |
I'm so sorry, kt. That sounds miserable for you.
No, my paranoia never goes away. I mean, sitting here at my computer in the broad daylight I feel better...though not entirely so. I feel that someone is watching me from across the street, and that person has bad intentions. (Whoa, that sounds crazy!)
I will take a walk soon and the paranoia will start in...Someone is going to attack me; Someone will break into or vandalize my car; (and the worst) While I'm gone someone will break into my apartment and let my cats run away...so on and so forth.
It doesn't seem to be especially connected to my bipolar states, although it does get a bit more intense if I'm manic or depressed (but then, so does everything else).
I was also raised in a home in which, after the age of 6, I was abused in every way abuse happens, and terrorized. I became extremely depressed and anxious all of the time. By the time I was a teen I was showing hypomanic signs and was reckless and wild.
WC, I've lived alone for the past 3 years for the fist time in my life. I actually like living alone (with my cats), but of course I'm more on alert.