My T is self-assured about herself. But she can't read minds, so I have to remember to tell her when things are good/helpful. I tell her all the time now how x email helped, or x phone call helped, to even things we talked about in session. And I always tell her of my successes: walking outside, quitting smoking (even if it only lasted 9 days). And when I need something from her, I try to be a clear as possible: reassurance, encouragement, comfort, advice/opinion, etc. That way she knows what will help.