Hi deku: I am really sorry to know what u are going through. it must be a hard situation to manage since you are the soul support of your family!
Anyway, i think your feeling of guiltiness is a normal reaction. But some way you might have to find a way of thinking about yourself a little, you know, a little support for yourself in order to take some weight off of your shoulders, and to be able to see the "light " ahead.

I think the suggestion of a state supported special centre or any other oraganisation may be able to help your child. Maybe you should investigate... There is always somebody out there willing to help, you just might not see it right now. And about your husband, i think he could understand that you program some time for yourself to do whatever you like. In the meantime somebody could be at home to cover his basic needs, except for those that he might judge intimate, whivh you coukd be in charge of.

You know, something that helped me was to make an exchange with other people: i used to be in charge of a small nephew of mine but when i had to work I programmed with a friend, that also had a small child, to take turns in taking care of the children. I don't know, this might help and it's free.

Anyway, I think it's important you start to do something for yourself, BUT, without feeling guilty about your family. Start thinking about what you would like to do! Maybe, there are activities which your child could be with you while you participate.

Hope I helped even though a little. Love, beatriz