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Old May 23, 2018, 11:00 PM
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seesaw seesaw is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2014
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Molinit View Post
You won't be able to change her, so today, how she is now, what is good about this relationship for you that you'd want to continue it (other than being familiar)? And how would you feel 5 more years from now, with her the same and 5 years later in the same situation with her?
While I truly hope that your GF gets help, and the home gets clean, and the child gets taken care of...in terms of what's best for you, I think Molinit put it very well. You cannot change her. She has to want to change herself. If she does think there is a problem and wants to change, maybe you can salvage it. But if she is happy with how things are, then you can expect more of the same forever. Is that what you want?

Do you two communicate about these issues in your relationship? What does she say about all the time she spends at her friends, then talking to her friend?

I guess, I mean, I would tell my BF to take a hike if he thought he had any say in what I do or who I call BUT if I'm also not taking care of my home (and there's a child living there) so I'm not being responsible and holding up my end of the partnership we've entered into (you may not be married but if you live together there is an implied social contract)...then she does have some responsibility to you.

I think you need to talk to her. Then decide what you can live with and what you cannot.

Good luck,
Seesaw
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Primary Dx: C-PTSD and Severe Chronic Treatment Resistant Major Depressive Disorder
Secondary Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder with mild Agoraphobia.

Meds I've tried: Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa, Effexor, Remeron, Elavil, Wellbutrin, Risperidone, Abilify, Prazosin, Paxil, Trazadone, Tramadol, Topomax, Xanax, Propranolol, Valium, Visteril, Vraylar, Selinor, Clonopin, Ambien

Treatments I've done: CBT, DBT, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS), Talk therapy, psychotherapy, exercise, diet, sleeping more, sleeping less...