Quote:
Originally Posted by spikes
The thing is I asked to be taken off my meds last year and we tapered, so it wasn't his choice to discontinue for no reason.
Okay so I went up to the receptionist and told her I had an appointment, and she said I did not. I took out my card and confirmed that it was the date and time that was on the card. I had the right date and time, but she had no scheduled appointment so either they lied about my appointment or cancelled it without telling me.
I believe my doctor told them to cancel it because he wants me to truly suffer without meds. He probably thinks he's giving me a lesson. He's angry at me. At my last appointment he told me if I start having any symptoms to go to the hospital instead of him. The group having nothing to do with his practice I go to explained to me that. He wants me to go to the hospital so he doesn't have to deal with me when I'm not at my best. That's my experience with every other practice I've gone to so why not this one.
I don't think I'm even capable of calling them back at this point and calmly explaining I need an appointment. I don't want to see him. I'm considering separating myself from the system. From this point on I have no psychiatrist, am on no meds, and am not going to seek for either. I totally understand I'm going to wind up in the hospital, jail, or dead, but I don't have any other options I will genuinely consider when every single psychiatrist is in a conspiracy against me.
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It’s great that you were able to take a step back and explain the situation more clearly. So...
...you’re not currently on meds. You had an appointment with your shrink but the receptionist told you that you had no appointment. I’m trying to decide if I would have reacted the same as you and the answer is... yes. Probably much worse as I can imagine my head exploding in that situation.
I agree that the ‘canceled appointment’ thing is... fishy. But, realistically, I don’t think that your shrink wants you to suffer. The thing about being told to go to the hospital? I’ve heard that from every shrink (except when I was, already, hospitalized). Not in a sense of abdicating any responsibility but rather as an assurance of treatment that my shrinks can’t give me as an outpatient. Don’t read too much into that — SOP.
(I never go, personally. I have a morbid fear of hospitals. Long story.)
I know that you want to do what’s best for you. We all do, at some level (even when it feels like self-destruction is our last chance). It’s not in your self-interest to go without a shrink and, possibly, meds. You know what you should do — that calm phone call — and I think you know that would be in your best interests.
It’s hard for me to calm down once I’m racing, once I’m angry. I don’t know if you feel the same? I really think that you need to find out why your appointment was canceled and think that you should make that call and confront your shrink. Anytime that I don’t understand another’s reasoning I become angry and combative. And, oh, so self-destructive.
Try to get another appointment. Explain your experience and feelings with your shrink. Afterwards you can decide whether to drop out or not.
Best of luck.