My mother has MS and is completely disabled (uses an electric wheelchair and can very barely stand up) and now, a couple of weeks ago, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. We won't know until after the surgery to remove the tumor if it has spread to the lymph nodes or not. If so, she may well need chemo and I can't imagine her surviving it, being as debilitated as she already is. I work in healthcare and I've seen what it does to people.

My brother and I have been trying to move her to the north of Delaware, where we live, so that we can take better care of her (she lives an hour and a half south and has some home help there). We started this process before her cancer diagnosis, but now it is put off because she wants her treatment, down there, before she moves up here.

My brother was supposed to help find her a place to live up here. He hasn't. He has said he would visit her. He hasn't. I have been taking her to her doctors' appointments, and I don't think he'll be coming to the surgery with me (and I'll be the one staying with her after the surgery).

I only moved from CA to DE a year ago, and it's as if, now that I'm here, he expects me to do everything for my mother now. Before, he would occasionally take her to medical appointments, but that's it. I think he has good intentions (to help), but is struggling under having 3 kids and being terrible at budgeting his time (he has ADD). But I'm furious with him. He says he's overwhelmed and very behind with work and gets no sleep and yet he's going to Boston from Friday through Monday. He told my mother he'd go and visit her, and yet he's going to Boston for the entire long weekend. I'm furious with him. I'm trying to let go of my anger, but it's not working very well. I love him, but it's very difficult to sympathize with him; he's his own worst enemy.

I'm under an enormous amount of stress. I'm trying to hold it together. Ironically, BP and all, I'm, as a friend said to me, the 'adult' in the family. (My brother is also very very estranged from our father and is in an ongoing drama with he and his ex). It's just my brother and I. I love him. We're close. But I'm close to not being able to take him anymore. I don't want to be estranged from him as well. But he has anger issues, and if I were to challenge him on how he is treating (not helping) my mother, I know he would not react well. It's a terrible situation.

I NEED to keep it together. I MUST keep it together. I will do the best I can.