Quote:
Originally Posted by Ididitmyway
The notion that therapists can somehow acquire and possess magical powers to separate their feelings from their work is wishful thinking that many clients and therapists alike share. It's a fantasy based on misinformation being perpetuated by the profession that is one of the major reasons many people get re-traumatized in therapy.
As a licensed therapist, who has received all the required training and who has always sought consultations and personal assistance with my clinical cases, I can attest that there IS NO training that teaches therapists "skills" to overcome their feelings to such extend that they wouldn't affect their work and there IS NOTHING a personal therapy can do in that regard either beyond simply tracing where the feeling is coming from, which might be helpful for the therapist's own self-awareness of his/her limitations and detecting the right time to refer the client out.
Feelings cannot be "overcome" and "put aside" for the sake of anyone else's well-being. At least, not when they are strong. They will always affect one's actions, and when one is a therapist, he'd damn better be fully aware of that reality so he would only work within his natural limitations and not give his clients a false hope that he could do more than what he is naturally capable of.
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I wasn't suggesting that feelings can be 'overcome' or put 'aside'. I was saying that they need to first at least be aware of them and as best possible try not to let their feelings impact the client negatively. Of course, that is not black and white and rather difficult thing to do and many therapists will fail at this. It's about always trying to see if their actions are in the best interest of the client or are they doing/saying something based on themselves. Of course, their judgement might be slightly clouded but a good T IMO will also be able to see that and it can be why consulting with other T's is also important.
We can't control our feelings but we can control what we choose to do WITH those feelings and to me, that is where the damage can lie. I don't think it's as simple as if a therapist has intensely strong feelings for a client they must refer them is all I was originally trying to say really. I mean if that was the case clients would be moving around a lot!
This may or may not be a good analogy but I have lots of feelings for the people I work with. Some of them are nice, well rounded, friendly, respectful and want help others can be rude, selfish and on the surface don't seem to care about wanting my help or anything much really (of course it goes far deeper than that). On the surface I find I enjoy working with those who want my help far more. If I was to let my feelings 'take over' completely without examining them and being aware of them I might find myself unfairly giving those more attention and putting more effort into helping them etc. Because I am aware of them though and am able to look at them at a deeper level I can choose how I deal with them so that it doesn't negatively impact those I work with.