Hi Wild Coyote,

You said:

I have difficulties with white noise, too. When I am triggered, white noise is too loud and gives me auditory illusions. For example, a fan might sound like rock music, talk radio, etc.

Do you get triggered by certain types of noise?"

Thank you so much for talking about that. It's hard to find people that know about the white noise part of dissociation. It seems to get like that angry/scared. Noises sound like different things to me all the time too, I always thought it was the weed. I've had nicknames like "sky pilot", spacing out all the time. Dissociating, apparently.

Abuser empathy warning?
Dissociation might be what accidentally(???) causes the abuse, getting so spaced that you wake up reenacting the abuse with someone

"Stranger Ones" Netflix movie, it's about sexual abuse, I mean to say that it's not some stupid movie where the authors mindlessly write in some craziness, and not address it. I found it helpful, and there's no abuse shown, although it's obvious the kid is spaced out (I'm so sorry)
The movie is ambiguous in places and I found that helpful in figuring it out. But it shows how this **** can happen, mind blowing.

I watched it 3 days ago and can't stop thinking about it, my abuse is still hidden from me