My eyes opened last night . I though I was ok even though I have a lot of severe problems and even though I can't lead a normal life and even though I have so many issues I thought I was ok .

First of all I couldn't stop myself from spending all my money on a game, it's almost like gambling because you don't get anything real for your money just pretend things in a game that aren't real. I mean I really physically couldn't stop myself and now I have no money for food or for anything .

Second of all I see that I am very unstable . If someone doesn't text me back ........if they text me back one word answer .......I fill with rage and sadness ......I want to kill myself ......I want them to die too because they are treating me bad ........I get obsessed

I can't go out ! I can't leave my flat ! Wow I can't believe I thought I was ok and kind of normal but with issues . I'm nowhere near normal !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm unable to look after my own children because of my mental health and yet I thought I was normal !!!!!!!!!!

Why did I think I was normal ?????????????

Nothing about me is normal !
I am sick
I am flawed
I am pathetic