Actually the autistic behaviors come across as narcisistic but in reality are just the autistic bahavior. I had tobread the book The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome by Tony Attwood to understand what I had lived with for 33 years of marriage & while reading that I realized that I had lived my previous 21 years eith a dad who fit the behaviors descriptions perfectly.

Thing with spectrum conditions is that what works for one may not work for another.

In my own personal experience the H pushed me to the point where my anger with him got so bad I was seeing red. By that point I knew my only option was to leave because there was nothing to recover by that point.

I think when it us diagnosed it helps if both go to a couples therapy because honestly the dynamics are so complex & communication so difficult that professional help is really useful from someone who specializez in ASD....especially if it is high functioning.

In my case we were both computer engineers but it was impossible to communicate with him from the beginning & he never took my needs into consideration. He lived in his own little world of books & once in awhile he would do other things that interested him or if I pushed to do something. Communication was horrible. I would say something & he would look at me as if I were speaking in a fireign language. Even when I would make him repeat what I said, chances are he would never do what he was asked to do. I thought passive aggressive but it became obvious he had no idea what he was told & wouldn't bother to say anything because he was sure what he was asked & if he couldn't figure it out he would do nothing or if asked a question he wouldn't be bothered to verify the answer. If he did answer he would say whatever he believed was the answer no matter how incorrect he was.

Tolerating behavior for awhile is doable. Knowing the cause helps....but it can end up like the glass that is filling. When it gets to the top, one more drop can cause an overflow.....yiu justvdon't want to get to that point.

You can research on the internet all the problems that occur between a neurotypical person & one on the spectrum....there is tons out there on this topic. Some helps, others are just oeople who couldn't take it any longer. Don't take on ownership of the problem. It is both people's responsibilities to learn how to function together.....it is NOT JUST the neurotypical's job.....or resentment WILL BUILD.