Quote:
Originally Posted by ruh roh
For anyone who's had a parent with mental illness, or who is abusive, the not knowing, but sensing, can be hell. We need something solid to grab hold of, even if it's not good news, otherwise, our minds will imagine the worst. He owes it to you not to leave you in that state before your separation.
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I think you have hit the crux of it here. I am sure this central to my childhood experiences in ways I have no way to access due to the impact on me at the time. My mother was variously inpatient, outpatient, high, erratic, missing... And I can only remember one single thing that happened with her before the age of 9 or 10 that wasn't a happy memory. Like I've blanked all of the stuff except one life changing incident (TW traumatic memory)
So yeah when he responds in a way I don't fully understand it probably triggers all of those safety warning lights from memories I don't even consciously remember. I must remember to say that to him. And yes I should bring it up right at the start. Thanks ruh roh.