I am feeling uncomfortable with myself...there's this sensation that's a mix of anxiety and despair, a lighter mix of both.
It's because I am tied, to this feelings of emptiness, to this apathy towards life. Anhedonia they say. I lack will to socialize and share my life, but then I am super socially anxious.
I feel like raising my hand on the air and saying save me and then waiting someone pulls me out.

I feel broken, wrong, handicapped. This has born with me, it will probably die with me. Then my faulty genetics are the cause... How much of this is psychosocial and how much of this is biological? If it's mostly biological I guess there's no way out. Whatever is the name some professional might give it.