Quote:
Originally Posted by starrysky
This post may look like a 5 year old's scribble. Meandering, all over the place.
I feel kind of sad. It's true I didn't eat healthy today, and I think I am officially addicted to sugar now, too. And I've been kind of isolated lately. But the relationships part of my post: that guy and I who went out. I think he really likes me. I like him too! He's very nice and sweet. And I'm paranoid that he's bisexual. Not that that would matter. I am kind of analyzing everything in my mind and I'd really like not to. I think I just need to talk here.
I am back on OkCupid (I'd deactivated my profile for a few days). I feel good with the way things are right now. I don't want to commit to him. I want to get to know him better first. And I don't know. I just feel like we are casual dating, and that's fine with me! And fun. But I also feel a disconnect. And a little sad, but maybe thats my own issues and doing. And not related to him.
I don't really have a problem, per se. I think I need to be around people more. My friend called me, and I might call her back to say hello.
In terms of this guy. He calls me "babe" "baby" and "hon" in his texts to me. He did tell me though, that his coworker calls everyone that too, and that it rubbed off on him. So maybe its just him being casual. Or maybe he really likes me. Idk. We haven't had like any kind of talk saying "let's be monogamous and bf / gf." So.
I want to get to know him better though. He is pretty lovely, and impressive, inspiring, and intelligent. he's also kind of got some emotionally immature world views that really rubbed me the wrong way (he thinks its ok / good for some people to have misfortune if they've been mean to someone else, for example, if they're openly racist. they got what they deserved, basically). I guess I just think differently. He also thinks that its ok to take your anger and frustration out on someone else, though, he never did with me, and he also said he lives by the golden rule, and he was quite caring and concerned for me and wanted me to be comfortable and feel safe.
I feel like I'm just rambling tonight. But there you go. Please respond if you have something supportive or helpful. Thank you.  |
I feel kinda sad right now too...and maybe in the same place? My new male friend also calls me "hun" a lot. He also refers to me as "beautiful." Part of me is certain it's just what he refers to every woman he flirts with, and part of me accepts it as a term of endearment. People use the same pet names with everyone, in my experience. He's not the first man I've referred to as "hey handsome." But I no less mean it.
I kinda hate myself right now. I had a really hard day yesterday. He knew it. He sent me a couple of texts to see how I was doing. I knew he was going to be busy with his kids last night so I said if he had time for a call I would love to talk to him but if not, I totally understand. He said he would try. To me, based on past experience, I just decided to count that as no call last night. Then while I was at happy hour, closing up the business trip with client and colleagues, he called! And so I couldn't talk. When I called him back an hour later he didn't pick up. I almost cried I was so upset that I missed him.
So part of me hates myself for wanting to cry because I missed a man's phone call. But part of me also knows that I was so happy that he had called, it's like everything seems too good to be true...I dunno...
He did end up texting me later in the evening, although I missed that too because I fell asleep.
One of my colleagues, who is married, who I shared this story with, was like, what he is doing is what a normal man does when he likes a woman. That's what he's SUPPOSED to do. You are used to all those men who play games and stuff. But you SHOULD expect him to do what he says he'll do and not be so surprised by it. And I'm just like, I literally have never had a boyfriend who kept their word. So it makes me very wary and super appreciative when someone does.
Okay, now I'm meandering...
Hope you're feeling a little better, starrysky.
Seesaw