Spirituality has played a big role for me as well. I am a member of a liberal, non-Christian fellowship (UU), but lean more towards Buddhism. I am an introvert as well - and for many years, attendance at services involved sitting in the back and just trying to be ok surrounded by people. I've since become more involved and have found it to be good from a social aspect - but my spirituality is more personal and I tend to keep it to myself. Of particular help to me was Pema Chodron's "When Things Fall Apart". Meditation has been helpful for me, but I understand that for many traumatized folks it's triggering.

Yes - this has been my experience as well. And as you stated, what's the alternative. But the wrong turns were, at best frustrating, at worst deeply traumatizing.

I had to let go of that hope, dream, fantasy as well. I did some "parts" work combined with art work (I made collages of the parts), which was very helpful. I've found, for myself, when that longing comes on strong, it's usually means I'm not listening or caring for my younger parts in a way that they need.

There is also another forum that was, for me, very helpful. It is specifically for PTSD and folks there tend to be pretty blunt. But I found it helpful to be among a group of people with similar issues. It also helped guide me towards things that were helpful rather than harmful, possibly saving me some time and grief.