Hello BurningWoman: Welcome to PsychCentral! I'm sorry you have endured so much tragedy in your young life. Hopefully coming here to PC can be of some comfort & support.

I have to say that I personally have not had a lot of success seeing counselors or therapists. Like you, I've tried a few for brief periods over the years. They ranged from mediocre to dreadful! I don't see one anymore & haven't for quite some time now. On the other hand, I've read posts, here on PC, written by members who said their therapists saved their lives. So I presume there are great therapists out there. It's simply a matter of finding the right one for you.

You asked if all of the time, money & effort to embrace your new therapist will be worth it. The answer, at least from my perspective, is that the only way you'll know is to try. And, as katydid wrote, the older you get the more difficult it is likely to become. I'm soon to be 70 years old! And my experience, at least, has been that as one ages it gets increasingly difficult to "keep the cork in the bottle", so to speak. In my case, I managed to do so until I reached the age of around 50. But, from that point on, it just seemed to become progressively harder to maintain control & carry on with life. So my thinking would be that the sooner you deal with all of the sad experiences you have had in your life the better. And, as for the swiss cheese... my thinking, at least, would be don't worry about. Over time, what needs to come forth will come forth. My best wishes to you...