I agree. Bring it up with your T. I was with mine for almost a year before we talked about that. I wrote her a list of things i felt were holding me back from being completely open and honest with her and the "not safe to feel safe" thing was on there. I get why i feel that way, i have an amazing lack of stability and consistency in my life, but it helped a lot to talk about it and she really seemed to understand that and we worked from there. Im still only maybe 75% open but im working on that 25%. These things take time. Just remember that your defenses developed over a lot of years, they dont disappear overnight. Its ok. Your T know these things take time. Best of luck to you!