Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks
Well... I did read your whole post... (no skimming.)  Unfortunately, having written that, I'm not sure there's really a lot I can offer in the way of suggestions. The two things I know are... there's no way you can know for certain what's going on in your (ex?) bf's mind. And there's also no way you can control what he does... or doesn't do.  Ultimately you only have control over yourself. So I think what you may have to do here is to decide how you need to proceed in order to protect yourself as well as to move forward with your life... painful as that may be. 
There is a danger here that you will become so entangled in trying to figure out what your bf is thinking, what he's doing, & what that means for the future of your relationship (if anything) that you find it harder-&-harder to let go.  At some point, my personal opinion would be, you have to simply make a clean break & move on. There's no way I can say if now is the time though.  That may be something you would be better able to work out with the help of a counselor or mental health therapist. I wish you well...  |
Thank you as well for reading the whole thing, means so so much! It's true, I do keep wondering what is going on and that sometimes leads me to try and decipher what different things mean over and over in my head and it has made me crazy but I do feel I'll need to reach out eventually to finally understand what has happened because we were actually amazingly great for all those years we were best friends until he was like a dead person and when i first asked what was wrong he'd tell me he didn't know and just stare into space, cry more easily etc so this has all been so bizarre as we weren't in an unloving relationship at all.
I guess I do need to focus more on me but it's extremely hard because i do love him unconditionally. We had everything in common, even the most obscure things (i.e even as I sometimes 'stalk' his social media I'll often find a link to a song I just listened to the same day, sometimes the same hour where the artist isnt known and has very few fans to his name or a link to an obscure article that I just read, etc) May sound silly but along with that we had such depth to our conversations and I've tried each day to find something we actually didn't have in common or a flaw but there were none other than mental health issues i suppose but even that isn't a flaw for us.
So it's tough as I am lost because here I am best friends with my partner for years and he treated me beyond perfectly and then he acted so dead and now this. I'm just at a loss..trying to figure it out but thanks so much for reading and for your feedback!!! I will try to focus more on me, still unsure about therapy though but may resort to that. Thank you.