Hey there, thank you for sharing your story with us.
It sounds like you've been having lots of things on your plate, as well as a pretty confusing and hard background. I can only imagine how you must be feeling right now because it seems like you were just being you, doing nothing and just living your life but things, such as school, is intruding. It sounds like a really hard situation to get out of, and as you've said - it is what it is. Let me start off by saying, thus, that you are completely accurate and yeah, completely agree with your POV.
Although I think the teacher meant well and everything and that the school didn't know that it would've gotten you in trouble (I suspect that they believe that your family already know, hence why they notified them), I completely get what you mean by you feeling as if they were being intrusive. It's true you weren't doing anything wrong.
I guess in situations like this, there's not much to do. Can't really sue the school for doing this. Instead, have you tried to reach out to your family members and give them a proposition of what you're going through or explaining to them why you have the card in the first place? It sounds like your anger stems from the fact that your family was physical with you after what happened, which is why I said so.