2ISAB, I'm sorry, but I'm not sure what you want to hear anymore. You've received a lot of caring advice on this forum, but you keep posting about the same issues.

From your posts I understand that you are addicted to opiates. Fine, that's your business. I wonder if you know, however, that opiates are depressants? It is also very possible that it is withdrawal from the oxy that is causing your depression. Do you recognize that?

Even Valium, while it can help with anxiety, is a depressant.

As I understand it, you're not drinking alcohol anymore, yet you are using drugs that have the same or a very similar effect as alcohol. All depressants. Your moods must be flying in every direction at once, considering the substances you are putting into your body.