I don't know why but I never really post in this forum .
I've been abused so many times in so many different ways .

With my family I was neglected and bullied . My dad would " play fight " me too. He would strangle me and things like that and it would hurt really bad and I thought I was going to die . But it was only playfighting he said. He shouted at me for being such a winge bag . He was not at my home from the age of 7 but I had other abuses at home . Like my mum's bf. He would touch me and my sister on our breasts , pretending he wanted a cuddle and it would turn into a grope . My brother and step dad would bully me alot and my mum would laugh. I was a freak . The butt of their jokes . I was a bent nose ***** . Thats one of the names I was called on a daily basis . I witnessed alot of violence at home and a few times my mum physically attacked me .

So that was the abuse at home . But when I was little I got bullied alot by the neighbours kids , they were much older than me . My friend's dad sexually assaulted me , but I don't know exactly what he did as I only get flash backs but I do clearly remember him threatening to kill my mum and dad if I told them . He wouldn't of said that unless he had done something. I also got bullied at school to a certain degree but not extreme .

As an adult I have been in abusive relationships . I have also had people attemt to rape me on several occasions since I often let myself be in dangerous situations .

I had 1 actual rape . I know I did not consent , I was practically unconscious . Because of alcahol . I thought it would be safe to fall asleep at a party but it was not . The guy who raped me also stole my phone .

I was bullied in some of my job's too probably because of my social anxiety and poor mental health which hadn't been diagnosed at that point .

I don't think about the abuse all the time . I don't know why I decided to share it , maybe I needed to share it , I don't know .