It is so sad that so many of us go through so much abuse . I think if you are abused alot as a child it can lead to being abused as an adult . My childhood ripped away my self esteem and I'm pretty sure my mental health started to happen in my teens if not before because I was a very unhappy child . As an adult I craved love . I mistook controlling possessive men as loving . It lead to violence and mental abuse which lead to drinking alcahol alot of it so that I could cope this my situations . Being drunk I put myself in dangerous situations alot . Well I don't drink anymore and I self isolate . I do that so that no more further abuse can occur because I feel like I've had my limit in what I can handle . I already have alot of mental health issues as a result of all of this . I am going to try to get help . I hope I can get the help I need . I'm glad you are getting help for all the abuse and how it affected you . I know you wish you got it earlier , so do I. I had the opportunity to get therapy when I was 16 but it all went wrong . I wish so badly I had got that help and maybe wouldn't of encountered more abuse and more MH issues as an adult . I had one therapy session when I was 16 . I didn't speak . I may of said one sentence in the whole hour . I tried to go back but apparently I went on the wrong day and both the resecptionists lauged at me so hard and they didn't offer me an alternative appointment so I just walked out and never went back . I also didn't take the antidepressants because I was scared too . I had another chance at therapy a few years ago but I messed it up because I am agoraphobic and nobody wants to do home visits . I missed too many appointments and so the therapy stopped . I only saw him a couple of times and it didn't help but I know I need something long term and I want to try hypnotherapy too. I had it once before and it worked for s period of time and I only had one session . Thanks again for the advice and good luck to you too