Here's a link to an article, from PsychCentral's archives, I just happened to come across today. It reminded me of your post & your concern with regard to the way your mind would look (like a piece of Swiss cheese) if you were to draw it:
https://psychcentral.com/blog/memory...r-from-trauma/
 
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"I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last)
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