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pinksoil' T said:
"You are the only one brave enough to bring along something like that to reveal yourself so openly."

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This was exactly my point in one of my previous posts on this thread. I think those of you who are accepting and embracing this inner aspect of yourself and most importantly sharing the experience with your T's and US are a lot braver than I am.

This thread has made me think about why I was so quick to think my experience was so abnormal/pathological. I've also been thinking about why I didn't particularly care for this image of myself. I guess that's the whole point. I've also been thinking... why is it that you all were told by your Ts that this is a normal part of therapy, just like transference, abandonment, and other stuff. Either a) I'm not listening to my T or b) she is neglecting to tell me about these things. Since I seem to be able to almost quote the dialog exchange during the hour, I don't think it is that I'm not listening.

Maybe my underlying issue is that I just can't seem to get myself to that level of comfort with either me or my T or both. I have disclosed EVERYTHING as far as I am aware and I am still incredibly guarded. Maybe I am just not understanding or refusing to accept what's been said.

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Pink said:
I believe that with everything that is revealed in in therapy, there comes a risk-- and with every risk, a benefit will emerge-- the time in between of course, depends on the processing.

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Yes, but people can die, lose their families, develop addictions or other MORE unhealthy coping mechanisms in the between time. A clinician must alway consider the relative risk of any intervention before determining if it is prudent to move forward.

Honestly, I don't regret starting this quest for self discovery. It was well overdue and although I complain a lot, its clearly helped me more than its hurt me. I just worry sometimes if I may be getting in over my head. Also during weeks like this I wonder if my chosen guide has any clue about how things are affecting me on a personal level. Then again maybe that is irrelevant to the process.