Reading through this post has made me stop & think about the whold picture. Yes, your Mothers reaction was nothing other than completely RUDE.

The other part of the picture is that you know your mother & how she feels about these issues such as gay people. So my question is, why would you come out & tell her something like that, when you know what kind of response you are going to get from her?

When we know how someone feels about something it's best to just not add that piece of information to what we are communicating. Some information isn't even important & ones sexual preferance isn't even an important issue to picking the name. The fact that he is your friend, & is a best friend is all that your mother needed to know about the person you are chosing to name your child after. It's kinda like picking a fight when we know the kind of response we are going to get from someone. Why give someone ammunition you know they will shoot with unless you want them to shoot?

It is sad that people respond rudely to things they strongly disagree with. Honestly, she should have been mature enough to have dropped the gay information & not even responded to it, keeping the conversation to only about the name sadly, it's hard to have enough self control to keep from letting ones feelings get expressed in rude remarks but that doesn't justify her rude remarks.

It's important to understand however that your Mother is as entitled to disapprove of the gay life style as much as you are entitled to accept it or be tolerant of it. We are all entitled to our opinions on what we believe are actions that go against our moral values. Therapy doesn't change our beliefs if our beliefs are based on teaching & moral values that we truely believe in. What therapy can teach us is how to respond in those situations where our beliefs are being challenged or placed in front of us & expected to comment on. The problem with this situation was the way your Mother reacted to something she disagrees with you on....even the fact that she responded ...she allowed her "button to be pushed".

It's important to understand that the beliefs that it is wrong to choose to participate in the gay lifestyle rather than to abstain, comes from the same place that says it's wrong to cheat when you are married, to get drunk, to do drugs, to lie, to steal. It's the action that is considered to be wrong, not that the person isn't a wonderful person. Some people have a problem separating an action from the person that is doing it & then we judge the person as being a bad person when that is far from the truth.

Communications with people who are overly opinionated & rude with their responses is difficult. The sad thing is that when they respond that way, we don't even want to know where their beliefs are coming from & they only make us angry & create nothing but bad feelings.....but knowing this, I would not push buttons I knew existed.

I wish you the best with your baby, & absolutely love the name Jeremy (FYI, my daughters new boyfriend is Jeremy). It's important to have a good friend. They are few & far between & should be treasured. Being a friend isn't dependent on anything other than being kind to each other, supporting each other emotionally, & caring about the well being of each other & just being a good person. A person like that is the most valuable thing one can have in life & nothing else about the person is important except for those characteristics.

Debbie