Update:
So I took some people's advice on here and I spoke to my therapist yesterday. I don't even know how to describe the session...I told her I was uncomfortable talking about the abuse and she said, "Well let's talk about why you're uncomfortable." I said that it felt like we were just talking about it to validate her invalidating comments, and that I feel like it was too soon to talk about it. So she kept asking why, but I already explained it...So then we started talking about my grandma's homophobia, since that's a big issue; I can't change her but it still sucks because I'd like to be close to her but my guard is always up, and I'd like to be myself in my own home instead of whispering about who I like or anything related to queerness. She, AGAIN, brought up her homophobic friends and she said, "One of them is very homophobic and she beats her son if he only does something that's deemed a bit feminine because she's so afraid of him turning gay. And we're really good friends." So I was shocked and I blurted out, "She BEATS her son?" And she said, "Well, not really beat but jostles him around." How can you be friends with someone like that? She keeps bringing them up and I keep telling her, "I can't be friends with homophobes..." And she said, "I'm not telling you to do that!" I feel like my feelings weren't getting through to her...I want to give her more chances because I always think I'm overanalyzing things because I internalized what my grandma said but I'm working on that!

However, this is the problem: I'm trans and I'm getting surgery and I need a letter from my therapist. My old therapist was hesitant to write the letter although we knew each other for 3 years (she was still great) and this new therapist will write the letter because of a new program that's started for trans people who need letters...So I might have to stay with her until I get the letter for my appointment with the surgeon in August...

So...I'm in a bind. -sighs-