hey SW, thank you for asking. I was going to post here and update on what was going on but i didn't want to annoy people with my same problem anymore...since not too many people responded i figured i'd drop it. so thanks for your interest.

After i sent that email i swore i would not get a hold of her until she called/answered me back. well my need for her overgrew my stubbornness/ anger and i called and left a message asking for her to please call me back. It took her a day, but she did, and we talked. I felt the need to apologize to her for "acting out", and then she told me that it wasn't easy on her either. That she wasn't just sitting around feeling annoyed at me, that she was debating whether or not she should call. she said, "part of me wanted to call to make sure you were okay, but the other part didn't want to give you attention for your negative behavior." she said she even talked to her supervisor about it and she said not to call and leave the "responsibility" to me. so now i don't like her supervisor!!!! anyway, i see her tomorrow and we have a LOT to go over and talk about. I'm still upset with her because i felt so uncared about. so we'll see how it goes. i'm almost dreading it because i don't want to face the feelings again. It seems i need her most the few days right after i see her, and then the disconnection loosens and i'm okay again until i see her and then it starts all over. so we'll see.

anyway thanks again for asking...thats my little update