I have two children and I try really hard to tell them that their feelings matter, that it is okay to be upset, etc. I definitely want them to know that they are loved - important to me, valued, have interesting things to say. Basically I use everything I have learned in therapy to be the polar opposite of my parents. Hopefully I am meeting their emotional needs. My son recently became depressed and I feel good about how I am handling it - I've got him in to see a therapist, I let him talk about, I knowledge his pain. These are all things my parents had zero ability to do.