It's an interesting juxtaposition to the way I am expected to work, the ethos of it. My boss, who is a good leader, often says we give of ourselves and don't bean count with time, and in that way, good will and generosity comes back , forming a work culture. It seems to me some ( not all) psychologists are bean counters with time in the name of the frame, while presenting themselves to the world as the ultimate people-people. My T is cognac! He is my fav T( and the only one I have ever experienced), and he is intelligent , sensitive, and a huge bean counter . He gets frazzled when someone nabs his NYT from the lobby or even when the nearby office of lawyers makes coffee he can smell in his office . There is a surpassing brilliance to him and that makes him really able to cut to the heart of any conversation, but he is also a tiny bit belligerent about every kind of boundary. I smile to myself wondering what the next door office says about him, having asked to make their coffee smell not at all I think his abilities as a psychologist are exceptional and I am lucky; he is seasoned and experienced with life and broken hearts. On the other hand, he is touchy and fussy about even the smallest demands to his time or upsets to his space. Once the overhead light blinked out in the hallway( not in his office) , and he was just beside himself if and when the building owner would fix it( it was bright daylight in there, and fixed by my next appointment). You can't have everything, and I adore my T. I just think it is a little scary for me he his ethos is so opposite to what I live in my work and personal life, bc his bean counting makes it clear he isn't looking out for me. If I can't tear open all these wounds and still take care of myself, then I need to stop , no matter how much I respect my T. Lol I quoted that he called my childhood a crime scene, and I got about ten pm 's about how that resonates to them too. He is very insightful and eloquent. I don't even want him to change; I just want the coping, grounding skills the other posters found so I can hang in there. Or maybe I do want him to chance a few notches on the caring scale, and check on me when the session is harrowing- like the rule of if he has tears, then he checks on me briefly , which you are right maybe is slopping him around like a wild berry wine cooler and under-rating his value