Hi. No, you mustn't think of it that way please, cool09. I mean, yes, I fully understand why you see it that way, as I have those thoughts in my head as well - but they're really just thoughts. I agree that a lot of people have a very difficult time, mentally, emotionally, but for myself, I try to see these as challenges, obstacles, to overcome or manage. Remorse and guilt over perceived failure are themselves mental obstacles to try to overcome, too. Do you see what I'm saying? Don't give up cool09. Battle on to the end. Let mother nature pick the right time to leave the earth. The natural way. Hugs.