Hi Firebird
I understand what your going through. Your mind is telling you not to do something that will actually help you infact. But if you think about it logically ( and I'm not trying to be condescending or insulting) it's not really realistic that a phychiatrist would give you anything to harm you. They are more there to help you than harm you. Your thoughts are out of touch with reality. They may seem very real to you, but you have to see that that is not the actual truth. I really think that you should go see your doctor or phychiatrist and tell them what you are going through so that they can help you. If you are on meds let him know that you are having symptoms of phychosis, therefore he can adjust your meds to a higher dose or even possibly switch medications. Dont let the thoughts scare you from going to see the doctor. The sooner you get help the sooner you should be able to get better. I really hope that this will help you in some way