I'm coming up on almost a month of dx. I'm slowly increasing my Lamictal. There are some things that are very scary for me.

1) How do I know who I really am? I mean if swinging between mania and depression is not me stable how do I know who I really am?

2) There are things I love about mania. I get so much stuff done. People would always say, "how do you get so much done?" and I was on fire on work. My mania actually helped me in my profession which is probably one reason it took so long to diagnose. While my relationship with my husband and kids suffered I could always look at my professional success and hear the praise of others and think it was them not me. I wish I could have the mania without the stupid decisions.

Thanks in advance. I appreciate the experience here.