Recently I've been watching someone's vlog, and seeing their relationship with their partner, for the first time I've thought "ok, so having a boyfriend/girlfriend is kind of like having a really best best friend?" Until now that has never occurred to me, and even now that was just a passing thought. I don't seem to have any lasting interest in a romantic or sexual relationship.

This doesn't bother me much, but I do have trouble connecting to people and do get very lonely a lot. I don't feel like people make fun of me for not being in a relationship - I'm 28 - but I also feel puzzled, like that part of human development just didn't happen to me. Like, I remember being 12 ish and the kids around me starting to get into dating and asking each other out, and I didn't understand it at all. I had no interest in asking anyone out or being asked out, and my thoughts about sex and kissing are still like that of the nine-year-old me - they're gross and scary.

That's not to say that I have no libido - it's just that there's no way I can imagine actually having that happen with another person. I know people can be asexual etc. does anyone relate? It just feels like my development when it comes to relationships stopped before puberty. I do have other issues with sex but I don't understand why.

I'm actually in a good state of mind and the moment and for the first time actually feel slightly able to talk about this stuff in therapy, but I also hate talking about anything related to sex.