Thanks Una. I "know" that logically---but there is some irrational part of me that blocks me from actually helping myself.

I think what it boils down to is I need to decide if I want to feel better, and if I truly do, that I need to accept that I need to do things differently than I have been. Written out it seems like "DUH, OF COURSE VELCRO," but internally, it is so so difficult for me to decide/do.