Fuzzy, I think it is a T's role to help identify those defences and work with them. I think we all put defences in place to protect us (and I think they can serve a useful purpose) and we need to feel safe enough to slowly dismantle them.

You are certainly not to blame for having them, they developed for survival. You need to find the right T and feel safe enough to take a leap of faith. Although I know that is not easy.