I just talked to my worker (she came over for routine residential meeting). She couldn't relate to what I was saying and I felt invalidated. She doesn't typically validate me though. And I've felt mildly frustrated by this before (she's a good person though and I don't take it to heart anymore, it's probably best to just not tell her stuff though like that). She said I was reading into it.

So why I broke the date. I think it just doesn't feel right to me. But I asked him how his memorial day party went yesterday, and he said "not as adventurous as your day, kidding! we had a lot of fun." I guess I just didn't think it was funny. I felt he was poking at me or being hurtful or something. I'd stayed home that day and hung out with my parents. So I said "I don't see how this is funny." and he said "it's not!" and I said "what do you mean" and he said that the party wasn't that fun, and he was poking fun at himself. and I said "but you said the party was fun." I just thought the whole thing was really weird and felt shady. Like it didn't make sense. It seemed like he was lying and backpedaling. Idk.

I think it just didn't feel like the right fit, is what it comes down to. And I need to be comfortable. In terms of my worker being invalidating, well, I wouldn't date her either if she were a guy, lol. Aka, she's not the best fitting worker I've ever had. I've had better. But I've also grown to accept her and my situation with my workers. I think everyone has their own process when choosing a mate. I do too, I guess. I should respect that.

@Seesaw: Maybe. I think you missed post #19 in my other thread, and some other stuff. I said that there, too, when you asked what was wrong. Thank you for saying there's nothing wrong with me! I think I'll have a good idea of if someone's a good fit for me. I've been experimenting mucho lately, when it comes to...choosing someone, and I'm examining my thoughts, beliefs, etc. I'm reflecting. So I think it makes sense I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Try it out.

I think from now on though, I'm going to meet people IRL. Not online.

@WasabiAlmonds: thanks for saying this. I agree. Trusting my own intuition is hard. I don't know why. I have a very good intuition many people tell me. I'm right a lot. And that makes sense...about being wrong about it, you learn from that too.

I am a bit annoyed now, that my worker didn't see my situation the way I did, and interpreted it differently. Thats a little bit of a trigger for me. But I at least know now to be careful with the information I present to her. Because there's a good chance she'll have a different opinion I won't want to hear or agree with, and I'll feel badly.