i know how hard it is to tell your t... i was in a really similar place as you when i told... i knew i had too... but was so scared of his reaction... he was really firm... but he also let me know i was safe telling him... and truth be told it kind of pulled me back away from the edge... even though it felt like it would push me over... one thing that has helped me is to picture the urge as a wave... that builds up but then it subsides... and washes (sometimes it crashes) to the shore... i am still in the place that i really would rather si then not... and i often wish my t would just give up on me... but he doesn't...lyn