Velcro, when I was more depressed, I admitted to my T that I wasn't sure that I wanted to get better and that part of me felt like I deserved to feel terrible. She said that that's a normal part of being depressed and that the way forward is to do good things for yourself and trust that your mood will follow. We talked about what those things might be for me and I agreed to try them even though it seemed pointless. I remember going on brisk walks with my dog and the only good thing I could feel was satisfaction in knowing that I could report back to my T that I did her dumb thing and felt nothing. But then eventually I did start to feel a tiny bit better, which made therapy more effective, which made me feel better still. It became something of an upward spiral. And the good thing is that you don't have to believe that it will work for it to actually start working.