Well it all went sideways.
She was fixing food to bring and got nervous and had a few drinks which turned into a lot of drinks.
If effit became effort in a winner.
I've had a lot of drinks, closing on the whole bottle of vodka without food and started listening to some dark industrial, better and further than NiN and am totally off the rails.
I honestly tried to meditate first for over twenty-five minutes, but the rage of "you chose that over me" took hold and I'm contemplating going out to raise a serious amount of trouble right now. I won't, I assure you dear reader, only because I don't want to have to tell you what I've done. The option bringing guilt stops me flat. We'll cling to that. I at least am.
My trust is now back to zero in others.
Happy g---amn birthday to me!
F---- everyone that I meet in person. They're all going to hurt me, justifiably, for my past. Maybe I should just be justified to myself.
Right now kmfdm's "go to hell" is playing. Quel Appropos