I definitely relate. When I was in my teens the topic of sex/dating terrified me and I acted out whenever it came up, whatever it took to get it to stop or get me removed from the situation. I distinctly remember two occasions where we were being taught about it, once was a 5th grade sex-ed class and another was in 6th grade science, and I absolutely could not handle it either time. I begged my parents not to let me go to sex-ed but they did anyways and I spent the entire time hiding under my shirt mumbling things and making everyone mad. the science class I just didn't stop talking about how gross it was and eventually got sent out of class for it.

Over time I naturally got over it and now I find I'm curious about it, but still not willing to let my hormones drive me into sleeping around because that seems disgusting to me still. I have considered that maybe I'm asexual too, but I can imagine doing it with someone I have great feelings for, just not some random guy, no matter how attractive he is to me.

Just because society says it's cool to sleep around doesn't mean we have to. I know it's hard sometimes, but we can't let what they expect make us feel badly about what makes us comfortable. If you are not comfortable with sex, even thinking about doing it with someone you love, then it's just not for you and that's ok! There are asexuals out there looking for relationships, so it's not the end of the world for you if that's what you are.