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mckell13 said:
This thread has made me think about why I was so quick to think my experience was so abnormal/pathological. I've also been thinking about why I didn't particularly care for this image of myself. I guess that's the whole point. I've also been thinking... why is it that you all were told by your Ts that this is a normal part of therapy, just like transference, abandonment, and other stuff. Either a) I'm not listening to my T or b) she is neglecting to tell me about these things. Since I seem to be able to almost quote the dialog exchange during the hour, I don't think it is that I'm not listening.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">mckell, my T doesn't tell me most of these things either, at least not in great depth. I remember the night before one of my very early sessions, I had a dream about a little girl of about 6, and we were downstairs in T's office building and I wanted to walk up the stairs to therapy, but she was scared. So I reassured her and gave me her hand and asked her to come to therapy with me, and she walked up the stairs with me to T's office. This little girl was me. I told T the dream and he explained that she was an ego state, which I had never heard of, and that we each have many ego states of different ages, organized around different events in our lives. This little one was mine at around age 6, organized around some abuse memories that had been repressed. We then worked with this ego state in therapy, processing past trauma, recovering repressed memories, doing EMDR, etc. But we really didn't go into the theory of ego states a lot. T just briefly explained what they were so I would know who this little girl was. I learned more about her by "doing" rather than by T explaining. I have since identified other ego states as well (the "me" I consider "me" is called the "executive" in ego state theory, and has an integrating function). So no, my T doesn't really explain this stuff at all. He has mentioned transference only once briefly in passing as an aside (he doesn't believe in it, at least the strictly Freudian view). But yet we talk about our relationship all the time. And as for abandonment, we've only touched on that a bit, as T has recognized I have had a lot of abandonment in my past, but heck, most people who go to therapy have!

So don't feel like your T is not telling you stuff that everyone else has explained to them in therapy. Sometimes it is helpful to just let things unfold and know that your T will give you explanations if you request them, but maybe it isn't always necessary. Rather, you can explore these concepts yourself in therapy and learn your own truths by doing.

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Also during weeks like this I wonder if my chosen guide has any clue about how things are affecting me on a personal level.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Have you told her? If not, why not tell her next time?