Thanks SpazKatt. I always giggle at that dancing dude. It makes me think about this guy one night at the bar. He was such a sweet fellow but mostly everyone made fun of him as he danced just like this. I thought it was wonderful to see. He did not care about what others thought, he had fun. I will never forget him.

Anyway, I had a really strange weekend. Today when I got up I was grumpy. But within about a half of an hour I was so goofy it was almost sickening. I started horsing around with the kids, had them laughing so hard I thought they would burst. I would tackle them, tickle them, hold them down and kiss them....just playing around. We were totally wiped out after an hour of this, we just layed there giggling.

Then I started to get ready as we had to go do a few things. My mood just hit bottom so hard and fast. I got mad at the stupidest things. Not at the kids, just at myself. Then I felt so depressed it was gross. I did not want anyone to look at me, touch me, or even come 10 feet near me. I tried so hard not to display this and had to lock myself in the washroom several times as I had to cry. Finally we got out the door. I was very quiet and sullen.

We did what we needed to, got home, did homework, and that was about it. I did talk to the kids about their school work. We talked about report cards coming up etc. I made them a deal with rewards for bringing up grades and they were really excited. I typed it up for them and printed it out for them. After school tomorrow they are going to tack each of the copies on a wall in their rooms so they can have something to work towards. Like a reminder of the rewards for continuing to work hard. So it felt great to see the excitement they had.

And now I feel like dung. I think maybe its just knowing I have to go see my doctor tomorrow and I am worried. Well its more than that. I am depressed; lolol. Just not sure what to be sure about. If that makes sense. But I am not feeling worthless tonight which is a change; this is good. U know the blah feeling, well thats me.

Anyway, that was a loaded response. Sorry, just venting. But thanks very much for the hugs. Hope you are doing okay too SpazKatt.

Justy