Quote:
Originally Posted by CoryAR
A little background history: I’ve been a lot of people’s ‘punching bag’ throughout my life, primarily in school (mostly middle school), but even as an adult I’ve been mistreated by people. The odd thing is mostly men mistreated me during school, but as an adult I’ve been mistreated by more women. Though, I’ve noticed the trend that all women in my adulthood that have mistreated me were younger women, so I suppose they’re just insecure/inexperienced.
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You've had some good suggestions and comments from others but I would like to add mine and I hope it helps. I quoted part of what you wrote. In my opinion, abusing others is not a gender-based activity. Nor is mistreatment a function of youth. Children of 3-4-5 can learn to keep their hands to themselves, to take turns, to be kind.
So what are we left with? Perception, most likely. Perhaps you are attuned to young women, and their actions are what "count" with you. But what actions do you consider mistreatment? I remember being bullied years ago by some strange old man at my work place who hung out in the cafeteria and badgered young women to wish him a good morning. When I questioned why he was hanging out in the cafeteria and asked who he was he disappeared.
It could be that what you expect from others, particularly young women, they are not inclined to give. I don't like to be approached by strange men, for example. Anyone coming up to me is liable to get a short reply and I can guarantee you I will be moving in the opposite direction. A clerk who comes up to me in a store is a normal situation and I will respond appropriately because I am there to shop. A man bothering me on the bus, at the bus stop or in a store while I am shopping needs to stay the heck away from me.
My counselor was a big fan of bibliotherapy. In this situation, in order to reset your expectations of people, you might visit your local bookstore or library and search for books on getting along with others, bettering communication, etc. I have always found helpful books that include little case histories or examples so I know what the author is getting at.
If you have read this far, you might be thinking, "oh my past, I've just had so many bad experiences, now I am trained to think/experience/react..." to which I say: Today is a new day, the past is dead and gone and you
can train yourself to enjoy your own life today and going forward. A few sessions with a good counselor could also help you develop healthy expectations and perceptions.